I got a son with Adhd, Tourettes syndrome and Asperger. For me it is a terrible mix and holidays are the worst periods of the year. I am in a desperate need of a holiday myself but truely, I never have a holiday.
Up in the morning
We have to get up early in the morning so that my son who is 15 years old, can have his medication. If we sleep too long we have to skip a dose in the middle of the day, because the intervals between the medicines are too close. If he takes Elvanse and risperidon to late he won’t sleep. When we have to skip the medicine at 13.00 he will be all over the place. So 8.00 a.m is the last wake up call. He have to take his medicine three time a day so I must keep an eye to the clock every day. In a way I am chained to the pill box.
Previously, late mornings have been related to holidays but not any more. He has to have antihistamines, risperidone and melatonin to sleep. That is why the intervals between his medicines are so important.
Let’s do something outdoors
I love to be outdoors, but my son just want to stay indoors with his lego, pc or tablet. He says that taking a walk is school work. It is nothing he wants to do in his leisure time. And if he walks with me, he just wants to walk straight to the school and back home again. So I will continue to be a role model with my outdoors activities. Maybe one day he will see the benefit of it and will make his own experiences.
His dad bought him a table tennis table because that is my sons favourite acitivity at school. Do you think he wants to play table tennis at home? Absolutely not.
I think he got agoraphobia. He can not visit any of his schoolmates alone. He wants them to visit him no matter what I say. I have suggested to drive him but he is so determine not to visit anyone. So we end up home. The sad thing is that he doesn’t have many friends. It really hurts. The good thing is that he has become more social at school and is accepted for his conditions.
The meals have always been an issue. He wants butter on his potatoes and vegetables, sauce, and potatoes must not touch each other. If he is unlucky with the sauce and he spills it on the potatoes he will explode and the dinner is spoiled. Being explosive is in the nature of Tourettes syndrome but I am not sure whether this is a borderline to Asperger. He is not diagnosed with OCD.
Breakfasts, lunches and evening meals contain of three slices of bread with melted brown cheese which is a very common topping for bread in Norway. I have offered him other toppings but no.
When he was about 10 years old I decided to lock his computer tablet via an application at 20.00 because I couldn’t get him in the bathroom. It has resulted in a routine that he must follow to this day despite the fact that he is 15 years old. In addition, 20:00 and 08:00 are the only times he knows.
On the day he turned 13 he decided to read for himself at betime. At 15 he decided to brush his teeth by himself. So the progress is slow, but at least there is a progress especially at the hygiene and social front. So maybe one day I will have a holiday.
The elementary school was tough. The school called me a numerious of times wondering if my son had come home. Then I had to search for him. Most of the times he had been hiding in the school yard.
Homework was impossible because he shouted, cursed and was very aggressive. We became distraught that we just decided that he should not have homework. Now when he is in secondary school he does them at school with an assistant.
Having visits from other than family and close friends are difficult. I am always so nervous whether he will make some drama or not. He can be rather rude to people making comments like: Stop laughing it is not funny, bla bla you know how to talk and many other things. But he can not help it. I don’t know how many times I have made excuses for him like: Remember he got adhd, Tourettes syndrome and Asperger.
He is so old now that he can manage a couple of hours all by himself. But when I am at work or visiting a friend I can’t really relax.